Joy indeed.

It was an amazing trip to Africa. Three festivals, workshops and the birthing of Joy. Yes, Joy… with capital letters. She revealed herself to me. Now what do I mean? Those of you who have been following my journey on facebook will have an idea of what Im talking about, though not entirely, so I will share with you what has been revealed to me.

Joy is her name, the sculptural weaving piece that I started creating in Cape Town. Why? Well, as I walk in conversation with the universe, I realise that she lives through me, that everything I perceive, lives through me. So… what does that mean? Well, as I was following my path to create a sculpture in Africa, I watched my own process unfold. I saw the emotional spaces, the logical bits, the responsive and reactive bits, the triggers and the flowing places as they coexisted. And I smiled. I watched myself talk to people and share bits of wisdom that emerged through these interactions, and I saw how open I was to receive more. I saw who I was in each moment, and I realised that I really love the way that I choose to engage with myself and the world around me.

Then, Bam. I felt it. And knew that I had been feeling it for a while already. I felt joy. I also realised that it wasn’t a feeling that was conditional. Conditional on whether things were going ‘well’, conditional on me having fun, being happy, being safe, or going on wild adventures. It actually worked the other way around. I was experiencing all those things because I could look at the world unfolding in all its quirks and imperfections, and be joyful in the fact of the unfolding. The creative energy of the universe expressing itself in perfect imperfection, with me walking alongside. In the experience of observation of it, without judgement.

Wow! How lucky are we to be alive??? Sad, I have been. Insecure, I have been. Lost and lonely, I have felt. Breathe, I always tell myself when I feel these things. Breathe, ground yourself, Rene, look at the big picture. Nothing is as it seems unless you choose it to be so. So I looked closer, and in the moment of looking, joy arrived.

BREATHE, Joy says. Notice who you are. You are the one looking, not the one being looked at! You are the very act of doing, not the person doing the act! It’s an amazing mysterious universe you live in because your deep inner knowing will always eclipse your ability to understand through perception when seen through the senses of a body. I am the weaver of life as much as I am the life that weaves me. What a joy that is. So. Joy is her name because that is what she teaches. Joy in the unfolding of me, of life, of everything. No matter what emotion I choose to attach to it. And when I realise that, I know I can choose another emotion instead, if I decide to. I choose joy.